how to get your kids to listen

So let me preface this.. it’s not what you think! kids are not going to listen to everything you say. The purpose of parenting is NOT to create obedient children. And obedience is not a scale by which to rate how “good” a child is. But here is a little tip if you feel like you keep butting heads with your kids!

Connect with them.

try…

10 minutes in the morning.

10 minutes in the afternoon.

10 minutes in the evening.

This is one on one time! No distractions (put away your phones and turn off the tv) – give them your undivided attention. Make eye contact. And just have fun with each other!

You will notice how these moments of connection will fill up their cups and leave them feeling safe and secure. When children’s needs are met the more capable they’ll be to listen to you and what you have to say.

I notice with my daughter almost immediately after our 10 minutes of connection, she feels comfortable and confident to play independently afterwards. I notice that she trusts me and is more willing to follow directions or do what I ask of her.

Fill out this download and keep it on your fridge! Write your child’s name in the colored box and brainstorm a list of things you both enjoy doing. You can look back on this when you need ideas!

Also children need autonomy! Give them opportunities to make decisions and do things on their own. Provide choices! For example: Which shirt would you like to wear today? The purple one or the pink one? If they feel like they don’t have any control or say about their life, the more they will fight and resist. We as adults would feel the same way too!

I hope these simple tips will help you on your parenting journey! They’ve helped me so much. It doesn’t mean we don’t struggle; because we do. It’s so dang hard. But I’ve found that these tips have helped me understand my children better and make daily tasks less of a fight.

If you would like to learn more about this way of parenting check out this blog post!